oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
