You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
MIDGETS
????
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
