Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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