Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
