I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
