She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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