Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
