I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
