Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
