Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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