I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
