OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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