This girl is more easily done than said...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
