You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
