You're my little dorito
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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