I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
