the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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