just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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