i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
