yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
