so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Two words: blizzard sex
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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