How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
