Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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