trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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