Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How naked do you want me to be?
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