You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the day after is always just damage control
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
