If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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