wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
