i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
