haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
