Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
