Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
