No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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