some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
