I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
