There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just high enough for therapy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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