I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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