is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
