i just wanna soil my oats bro
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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