I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
should my penis look like a turkey
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
