So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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