I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
