There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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