Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
