Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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