i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
