Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
