office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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