The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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