someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
